Numb
by nannanina
Summary: I've become so numb I can't feel you there A song fic read and review


Disclaimer: I owe nuthing... but soon... soon... MWAHAHAHAA!!! *chough chough*  
  
AN: my first harry potter fanfic... and it's a song fic!! It just popped into my mind when I read the lyrics tho linkin park numb. Read and review!!  
  
~*~*~  
  
~I'm tired of being what you want me to be  
  
Feeling so faithless  
  
Lost under the surface~  
  
I can hear you coming. You always come when it's night, always uses me, says you whants me to be a real Malfoy.  
  
~I don't know what you're expecting of me  
  
Put under the pressure  
  
Of walking in your shoes~  
  
The door creaks open and I close my eyes, hopes you will just go away. But you will always be there, remind me of what I am, a Malfoy.  
  
~Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow  
  
Every step that I take is another mistake to you~  
  
When I do something wrong you hit me, sometimes you curses me, but you says you want me to become like a real Malfoy, unfeeling.  
  
~I've  
  
Become so numb  
  
I can't feel you there  
  
Become so tired  
  
So much more aware~  
  
You walks up to my bed, I can feel you, I know what is going to happen, it's always the same. Sometimes I wonder why I haven't killed you yet, but nothing can kill you. I'm trapped.  
  
~I'm becoming this  
  
All I want to do  
  
Is be more like me  
  
And be less like you~  
  
You shake me, I open my eyes. Cold unfeeling gray eyes stars down at me. They never change, the same color as mine eyes. You sneer down at me, and hit me straight across the face.  
  
~Can't you see that you're smothering me  
  
Holding too tightly  
  
Afraid to lose control~  
  
I know you want me to be exactly like you, in in the last detail. But I will never think like you. You want me to kill him, the only person The Dark Lord are afraid of, you want me to become a Death Eather.  
  
~'Cause everything that you thought I would be  
  
Has fallen apart right in front of you~  
  
You pull me up from the bed, a hard grip on my arm. I know this is the last day I will be the free seventeen boy I have been, I will be trapped, more than I allready am.  
  
~Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow  
  
Every step that I take is  
  
Another mistake to you~  
  
It is cold in the corridors I have called a home, now it is only a prison, my prison. You are the one who put me here, without a rel family, without love.  
  
~Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow  
  
And every second I waste  
  
Is more than I can take~  
  
My mother stands outside yot and hers bedroom, she doesn't look at me, but she cries. I know what you do to her, and it is killing her, bit by bit, and it is killing me too.  
  
~I've  
  
Become so numb  
  
I can't feel you there  
  
Become so tired  
  
So much more aware~  
  
You ignore her, as we walk down the corridor. I wish I could find a way away from the pain, of all the things you do to me, and her. I don't really know if she thinks me as her son, but I don't think of her as my mother, more like a person who cares of what I am, and not for who I am.  
  
~I'm becoming this  
  
All I want to do  
  
Is be more like me  
  
And be less like you~  
  
You steer me down a smaller corridor, and infront of a portrait. You say high and clear 'Malfoy' and the porrait swing open. You push me in the hole in the wall and follow.  
  
~But I know  
  
I may end up failing too~  
  
I stumble in a room, stone walls, no windows. In the center of the room is a wooden table. Behind stands the very person I hoped I would never see.  
  
~But I know  
  
You were just like me  
  
With someone disappointed in you~  
  
The Dark Lord steps infront of me. Cold red eyes stars down ar me this time instead of gray. He lifts up my left arm and push my sweaterarm away to reveal my arm.  
  
~I've  
  
Become so numb  
  
I can't feel you there  
  
Become so tired  
  
So much more aware~  
  
I am scared, more scared then when I was left in the dungeons because I hadn't killed Potter when I could. I carefully placed my right hand in my pocket. Nobody noticed.  
  
~I'm becoming this  
  
All I want to do  
  
Is be more like me  
  
And be less like you~  
  
My hand close over my knife I have placed in my pocket just as The Dark Lord place his wand over my left arm. Whit a swift motion I stabb myself in the stomach. You scream at me, The Dark Lord only stare at me like he wants to say 'so this is what you choose?'. I'll be free, no more pain. My life ebbs away and I fall in darkness.  
  
~ I've  
  
Become so numb  
  
I can't feel you there  
  
Become so tired  
  
So much more aware I'm becoming this  
  
All I want to do  
  
Is be more like me  
  
And be less like you~  
  
~*~*~  
  
Well... whos pov do you think it is?? Press that litle button to the left there and review!! 


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